Forever For His Glory

These past 12 months (April 2016 - April 2017) were honestly the most painful and yet best I have ever had. They were challenging in ways that I didn’t expect and joyful in ways that were surprising. My heart felt like it was constantly in a time of being broken and then built back together only to have it broken and put back together, stronger than before. And not always broken in bad ways, but simply having preconceived ideas and dreams challenged and things stripped away and replaced. And it hurt! But God is good and He makes things new! When I used to hear people say, “I’m in a time of consecration” I’d just think, that’s kind of odd…. Isn’t that just the way singles are supposed to live? What’s the point? Ha ha ha….. This year: I’ve discovered is that it is very hard to be mentally “not available” when I technically am available (single). Before, there was pretty much always the thought in the back of my head of, “ What if he shows up soon?! ”. It took time...

“ It seems like blessings keep falling in my lap…. ” So. Many. Blessings. God really enjoys giving the desires of your heart when you seek Him. The things you’d like to have, but you don’t think you’ll get. And a lot of the things aren’t needs , they just make life a little sweeter. I was feeling kinda down. Just kinda tired with some things going through my head. Jesus, I would like some encouragement! Nothing happened. I went through a couple weeks just feeling funky. Nothing was wrong, just something felt “off”. What is going on?! This isn’t normal… My friends were praying... then it slowly went away. I still don’t know what caused it; it was weird. Life continued. Our newest 4 legged member, Shimmer. She's 3/4 Welsh Mountain Pony & 1/4 Halflinger And then over the last week or so it’s been as if God decided to answer all the quiet desires in my heart at once! I was praying for a desk for my side of the room. BOOM! One of the families...

“We’re not perfect, but we’re perfectly imperfect for each other”, she replied, smiling as her eyes divulged the many emotions she was feeling. Today I was thinking about couples that I know. Some are together, some just had painful break-ups, some are in the process, and some just smile at each other from across the room. The friend that I was talking to that said the above quote is in one of the more pleasant categories and I’m excited for them! Not just in a, “Oh! Its another cute couple!” but in a “I know they’ve prayed a lot about this, they know each other, they’ve been friends, and they don’t have unrealistic expectations” way. I’ve seen so many couples going into relationships with unrealistic expectations, only to have their heart broken because the other person didn’t fulfill them in the ways they wanted, or they discovered that they were a sinner, or maybe they just plunged in too hard too fast without really knowing the other person and the direction they ...

I remember when I first got my purity ring. It wasn’t something someone told me to do - I wanted to do it.  I remember looking online for the perfect one, and then receiving it for my birthday. Ah, I wore it proudly! As did the other girls in our homeschool circles. The silver band sat glistening on my right hand, because the left hand meant you were married, and you couldn’t have people [aka guys] thinking that! Though I knew a couple girls who wore theirs on their left hands (aka the radical ones).   The ring symbolized a vow to the Lord to keep oneself for one’s spouse. It was something that you’d keep, and then give to your spouse. It was a symbol of purity; a gift. Years went on.... I still wore my ring (though I had since exchanged it with a delicate silver band that my brother made). When I went out of the country to India and St. Vincent I moved move my ring to my left hand so that guys would think I was taken. And during the 4 months I was in St. Vincen...

So, one of the main things (if not the main thing) that single girls look forward to in life is marriage (I'm not a guy so I can't speak for the single men in our midst). I've wanted to get married since I was 4, and I can't imagine how many hours I've spent talking and thinking about the subject. The subject was recently once again brought to the forefront of my thoughts as I've been thinking about various things. But this morning I was listening to a message by Mike Bickle and it was about having God first in our lives, what that means, etc. After the message I was talking to God about it, asking that He would be my one love that all of the rest of my love came from. And God of course always goes to the heart of the matter because He knows what I've been thinking, and so He said, "All of this will fade away - your marriage will not last for eternity. I will survive for eternity. Your relationship with Me will last for eternity. Don't look...

“ Wow, you're going to the Caribbean on a mission trip!? Lucky! Really suffering for the Lord. Haha!” Missions work really isn't always exciting without the pain. Granted, some outreach locations make outreach “nicer” (I'm glad I haven't been called somewhere cold!), but there really is a pain that comes with missions regardless of where your location is. But it's hard to imagine until you've experienced it yourself. I've missed so many birthdays (and births), weddings, holidays, family togetherness, and just sitting on the couch talking to a friend. Counting from October 2014 - June 2016 (which is the soonest I'd get home), I would have spent 8 months out of state for various mission training's, 6 months out of the country on outreach, and only 6 months home interspersed between the times of being gone. And if I do go home in June, it would only be for a month or so before leaving again for 9+ months. Missions work really is I think ...