16 Things I Learned From a Year of Consecration


These past 12 months (April 2016 - April 2017) were honestly the most painful and yet best I have ever had. They were challenging in ways that I didn’t expect and joyful in ways that were surprising. My heart felt like it was constantly in a time of being broken and then built back together only to have it broken and put back together, stronger than before. And not always broken in bad ways, but simply having preconceived ideas and dreams challenged and things stripped away and replaced. And it hurt! But God is good and He makes things new!


When I used to hear people say, “I’m in a time of consecration” I’d just think, that’s kind of odd…. Isn’t that just the way singles are supposed to live? What’s the point?


Ha ha ha…..


This year:


  1. I’ve discovered is that it is very hard to be mentally “not available” when I technically am available (single). Before, there was pretty much always the thought in the back of my head of, “What if he shows up soon?!”. It took time and energy thinking about the possibilities. When in a time of consecration I wasn’t supposed to be thinking like that. Which in some ways made it easier because I was focused on Jesus, at other times it was really challenging because sometimes my flesh really wanted to start thinking things. Which was a great time to kill my flesh! If you want to kill your flesh quickly: fast and do a time of consecration.


  1. That I didn’t know what being single unto the Lord fully looked like. That it was so much more than my ideas of not having crushes, viewing guys as brothers, etc. but it directly affected and was affected by my relationship with Jesus and how close I was with Him. I noticed a shift in my mindset as I spent even more individual time with Him in regards to my viewpoint towards singleness.


  1. I learned how to greater pursue Jesus. I learned that just like human relationships, sometimes He just enjoys us being together in silence.
    God, why won’t you talk to me?!”
I’m here; just rest. Don’t strive. Silence is okay; enjoy My presence.
“Oh, okay…”


  1. I learned that He enjoys morning cleaning. Every morning I clean one of the halls for base cleaning and it has become one of my favorite times where I can listen to music and pray and spend time processing with Him before the work day begins.


  1. Feelings cannot be trusted at anytime. EVER. And if I felt myself beginning to have feelings for someone when in a time where Jesus told me to only spend time with/thinking about Him, I was in trouble. Jesus will never tell me (or you) to do one thing and then bring something [someone] in that contradicts what He told us to do. So don’t start thinking, “Maybe he/she could be the one….” If they are, you can wait until your time with Jesus is over, and if they’re not, then you’re in a lot of trouble…


  1. Jesus really does know what He is talking about, so just trust Him, even if it makes no sense.


  1. Wearing a ring with a stone on my wedding finger confused people - even my friends. I was asked many, many, MANY times if I was married, engaged, or just really serious about purity. Guys were even more nosey than girls.


  1. This was a time when God challenged my thoughts about relationships (platonic and romantic). Laying down all of your rights/thought/ideas about whatever the topic is, is when God will speak the clearest because you’re all ears and you have no agenda.


  1. I did not always like it when God told me things. And that was okay; it’s okay to be mad at God. Getting upset is not going to upset the cosmic universe. God knew I was going to feel that way and He was prepared.


  1. Jesus is as close to me as I’d let Him be. And that He rewards even the smallest attempts to be near Him and cut out toxic things out of my life. He wants to be the closest person to me (and you) at all times. Even when I’m married, He still wants that spot. And if I’m having a hard time putting Him first when I’m single, I will have an even harder time when I’m married!


  1. He always gives a choice regarding relationships. I wanted Him to force me one way or another, but He wouldn’t, and He’d love me regardless of what I chose. He challenged my preconceived ideas about Him having 100% control over what I do. He knows what I’ll choose, but He will not force me. He won’t force me to do missions; I could leave anytime. He won’t force me to have a relationship with Him or any other human.


  1. That I should never wonder if a guy is interested in me or not; I shouldn’t be expending energy on unknowns. If the guy does, he should tell me and pursue me like Jesus does. And until that time I’m just going to treat him like I treat any of my other brothers - no special treatment.


  1. That I'm worthy of pursuit. That I don't need to fear pursuit from God, a friend, or a man. That I should not fear pursuing my friends.


  1. That I don’t have to be walking around on pins and needles, hoping that I “don’t give the wrong idea” to my guy friends. I am not responsible for them. And by coming into the friendship with the preconceived idea that I can’t have a casual conversation with them without the possibility of them getting the wrong idea, turns them into an object instead of a real person. It’s no better than when guys objectify girls. (To clarify: this thought process came about because I have known many guys where a simple casual conversation with them did give them the wrong idea. It became easier for me to just not talk to guys than have to deal with awkward stares. I’m so grateful for the great guys here on base that honor their sisters in the Lord and have been helping to reshape my friendships with my brothers in the Lord!)


  1. Marriage is not about what I’d like. Marriage is a hard, refining process where God uses another flawed, human being, to conform me more into His image. And sometimes (often?) that person will grate against me to pull out more of the junk I’ve been hiding. When you know a person, and they fully know you, things will come out. You (and they) will no longer look like the cherubs everyone thought you were.


  1. I have a more sober perspective towards marriage. I’ve wanted to be married for as long as I can remember, but I feel like I’m finally in a place where I don’t know if I’m ready for marriage (which I guess is when people say that’s a good place to be to be married?). I’ve counted the costs and purpose of marriage and it is sobering. It is exciting beyond all I can imagine, but it is hard. Am I, in my current season, even ready for all that it would entail? I don’t know.


There are many other things that He taught me, but these are some of the ones that stuck out to me the most.


Honestly, it was hard, a lot harder I thought it’d be. But it was so worth it. If you can, I would encourage you to take a year to just pursue Jesus. You don’t have to call it “consecration”, just take time with your whole focus on Him - not on your work, friends, or spouse hunting. You will never regret taking time to seek Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”
Luke 10:27

“Love is not an emotion; it’s a policy and a commitment that we choose to keep in the harshest of circumstances. It’s something that can be learned and that we can grow in. Biblical love is not based on the worthiness of the person being loved—none of us deserves Christ’s sacrifice— but on the worthiness of the One who calls us to love: “We love because he first loved us”.”
Gary L. Thomas, The Sacred Search:
What about If It’s Not About Who You Marry, But Why?




“‘Marriage is designed to call us out of ourselves as we learn to love the “different”.’” And yet consider, if loving someone who is so different from you is impossibly difficult, how can you possibly love God? He is spirit, and you are encased in flesh and bones. He is eternal, and you are trapped in time. He is all holy, perfect, sinless, and you — like me — are steeped in sin. It is far less of a leap for a man to love a woman or for a woman to love a man than it is for either of us to love God. But I think it’s more than that. I think marriage is designed to call us out of ourselves as we learn to love the “different.” Put together in the closest situation imaginable — living side by side, sleeping in the same room, even on occasion sharing our bodies with each other — we are forced to respect and appreciate someone who is radically different...



...If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.”
Gary L. Thomas, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage
to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?


* These 16 things are things that God has taught me - please do not take them as a checklist for what/how you should do things; that turns into legalism. I’ve tried to just do whatever I read that God showed other people and that just doesn’t work very well… Please ask God what He wants to teach you if you decide to take time and purposefully pursue Him!


** The Sacred Search and Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas are fantastic books to read for those single, married, or in a relationship. Probably best relationship books I’ve ever read. I would highly encourage you to read them!

Comments

  1. What beautiful, intimate insights. It revealed true love.; which is always touching. Thank you for sharing AND confirming parts of my journey. It is helpful to me to hear similar things from others to cement my experience in my mind!

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