I've Found It!

I have found it: the best feeling in the world is knowing you are wanted. I don’t think there is anything that gives me more warm, happy fuzzies than that.

But let me back up.

June 24th-28th, I was teaching at a pre-school CYIA Good News club in Quinlan. On the 2nd to last day of club, I came down with a fever during club. By the time I got home, I piled under 4 blankets and took a nap. Naturally, the sickness made it so that I was not able to make it to the last day of club, which I was very disappointed about. We had an awesome group of 9 or so kids, and I was really looking forward to spending the last day with them. 3, 4 and 5 year old's are so cute, and I had formed a bond with several of the kids.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, almost 2 weeks later, and I was finally able to ask the other two girls in my group how the last day of club went.

“Oh, it was great. And they all really missed you!”

“Yeah, Jaden asked where you were almost as soon as we got into the room, and then Bryson was all like, “Where’s Sara?!” When he found out you didn’t come, he just hung his head.”

“Yeah, and during prayer Jaden asked that we pray that God would uphold you and make you better.”

“They all were really sad you didn’t come.”

I was only with them for 4 days, yet we built a bond of love. I’ll never forget having Destiny sit on my lap and pulling her curly hair up in a ponytail, or Bryson’s smile that completely covered every inch of his face and created dimples in his cheeks, or little Scarlett that reminded me of myself by always knowing the answers to all the questions, or watching Justice slowly start talking more each day as she became more comfortable around us, or Jaden’s quiet answers, or ever-smiling Lydia, or the classes rapt attention as I told them the Bible story or missionary story. I hardly knew them, but they loved me. And they missed me. They called me by name. I was not just some “teacher”, I was “Sara”.

It created warm, happy fuzzies. I smiled, knowing I’m loved.

I get that feeling when someone says they missed me, or when a friend breaks into a grin just by seeing me walk into the door. When someone asks me to sit with them, or out of the blue gives me a hug from behind. When a friend walks over and uses my shoulder to rest on. When I’m followed around by someone because they want to spend all day with me.

But, then, I had another thought - if a human can arouse such happy feelings in me, then what about God?

What about God?

The awe-inspiring God, who formed me in my mother’s womb. Who knew who I would be, what I would love to do, what makes me angry, what makes me excited, what my passions are, what makes me upset, what makes me sad. How do I respond to Him? When He tells me He wants to spend all day with me? When He wakes me up by gently showering golden rays of sunshine on my face? When He paints the sky in magnificent colors everyday, just for my pleasure and His glory? When He asks me to rest completely in His embrace, and drown out the noise of all else? When He tells me He loves me?

So often, I seek love and affection from those immediately around me. It’s like the epidemic of our generation; if a human does not tell us we’re worth something or appreciated, we feel useless (or worthless).

I was talking to one of my friends recently and we were catching up on life since she had been gone for a month at a young ladies Christian emergency preparedness program. She made the statement that while at this program, everyone told her she was beautiful, and now that she was at home, and no one was telling her that daily or weekly, she felt terrible. It hit me that that is what we often do. Every week and every day, we look for approval from others.

Except, we should not, because they are not the ones for whom we were created.

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

Everyone who is called by My name, whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him.

This people I have formed for Myself; they shall declare My praise.

Isaiah 43:1, 7, 21

For You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You.

Psalm 139:13-18

We have a priceless value from our Lord who hung on a cross, enduring the most horrendous and shameful death possible, because He values and loves us.

For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.

Colossians 1:16

No one else is allowed to put a price on us, because He determines our true value. Our view of ourselves should come directly from the truth of the Scripture, regardless of what anyone thinks of us (good or bad).

So the question I was faced with, was, “Do I really believe who the Holy God says I am? Or will I listen to the lies of the enemy, and base my appearance/feelings, etc. on what other sinful people think of me?”

Who do you believe?