The Real Problem With The Josh Duggar Incident

Lately my news feed has been bombarded with the news of Josh Duggar's past sins as everyone throws their two cents into the discussion. And normally I wouldn't join into such a discussion, but there was something that bothered me tremendously as I read.

And it wasn't Josh Duggar.

On one side of the discussion are those who are saying to forgive Josh, which is great (especially since we don't have a right to be throwing stones). What bothered me was the other group of people that are popping out of the woodwork. I've been reading comments from these other young adults who were raised in a "Christian" home-school home, went to church, sang in the choir, but then went to college and became atheists, among other things. You could hear the hate, anger and bitterness in every word they wrote. It was almost as if they were enjoying hearing about a believer's past sin so that they could say, "Aha! And that is why I left the church! Because there were sinners in it!" One article's comments were almost solely bemoaning how Anna and Josh had done a "covenant" marriage and so she was "stuck" with him. Another was equating what Josh did to what Bill Gothard and Doug Philips did (which is completely inaccurate - Josh was a 14 year old that wasn't a believer, while Gothard and Philip's were confessing believers and leaders in their perspective circles).

What happened to these young people to make them so angry?

What happened at their churches to make them so atheistic?

What happened within their families to prove to them their wasn't a God?

I read one good article and it was talking about how there were two main problems with what happened with Josh Duggar: 1) Christians were surprised about it. 2) Non-Christians were surprised about it. Christians shouldn’t be surprised about it because we should know that each of us have been saved by grace. Non-believers shouldn’t be surprised about it because 1) we should be open with our past sins and 2) they should know the Gospel so well (because we're telling it to them), that they would know that we’re all sinners. (I'd encourage you to read the article here - it was very good.)

Several Wednesday night's ago, we were talking to the kids about this very thing; that Christians aren't perfect and you can't put them onto pedestals (and that there was no sin that God couldn't forgive). My mom used herself as an example explaining how she had murdered* two people. You could have heard a pin drop as a look of shock and horror came over the kid's (and other helper's) faces. "SHE did what!?!?!" The look of shock was then replaced by disbelief and a lot of questions "No, she didn't actually do it.... did she!?!? ...She's just joking, right?!" They had built my mom onto a pedestal and they themselves were trying to reach a certain level of perfection before they felt that they were good enough to become Christians. But that's not the way God works. He doesn't come to us in our sin and say, "Clean yourself up!" Instead he comes into the mud and mire and helps us out of it, if we ask. By simply sharing her testimony, she was dispelling the thought of having to reach a certain level before Christ would accept you, even if you have had two abortions*.

It is so easy for us to put people on pedestals. For us as believers to look perfect on the outside, and therefore believers and nonbelievers alike think that we are perfect. We’re told to not openly share about what struggles Jesus saved us from, because “if we were a good Christian we wouldn’t have had those struggles!” and “it’s not something we talk about”. As if talking about the problem will make it worse, which it never does. (Which is quite the opposite)

We build people up put them onto a pedestal, and then forget that they are human. That they have struggles and issues that they have to deal with in the Lord.

I always used to love hearing people's testimonies about how they had been saved and I wasn't sure why. I just thought it was because I was nosey and liked to know everything about a person (because the more you know about a person, the easier it is to connect with them). It wasn't until this last year that I heard it put into words why testimonies are so important (and I had probably heard it before but I had just never caught it). Personal testimonies are so important because they cannot be refuted and they show God's power in the here and now. Someone can argue with you that the Bible isn't true because neither of you were there when it was written, but arguing that you didn't see a broken leg/mute girl/paraplegic healed in India? Or that God didn't completely take away your desire for drugs/sex/cigarettes/anorexia, etc? They can't, because it was something that you personally experienced.

Sharing my testimony actually became my favorite thing to do in India because I was able to share how God had changed me by taking away my anger, bitterness and hate that I had had for 14 years towards a relative that had sexually* abused me. (It also gives me the ability to know all the emotions going on in a case like the Duggars.)

*You weren't expecting that, were you? That's what I'm talking about, we get so surprised when we hear about sin!

What would happen if we [all] shared about what God had saved us from? We get lied to that "so-and-so will think such-and-such if they knew that" or "they wouldn't understand" or a myriad of other excuses. Yet I've always found it to be the opposite. The more truthful we are, the more there isn't any room for gossip because everyone knows the truth. And the few that don't want to believe it? That is between them and the Lord! When we stand before God we will not be judged based on what another human believes, we will be judged based on what we did and how we responded with the resources, abilities, and yes, circumstances that He put us in. Trust me, being abused was definitely not something I would have chosen, yet I have been able to see how God has used it for my good to teach me things I otherwise would never have known.

As I read those articles comments, my heart broke for those young people because they had wanted to know truth, authenticity, and "real life", yet that's not what they received in church. They were taught about a god that was going to zap them if they messed up. They were taught, “This is how a christian acts….” but not taught about the One who wanted to have an intimate relationship with them. Christianity was a bunch of rules, with no point. They could never please God nor attain His high standards, so why try?

My generation is dying. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

Now that they are older, my generation lashes out in anger at the first glimpse of religion. Because religion equals shackles. And I couldn't agree with them more. I detest religion. It has killed (physically and spiritually) more people than anything else in the world.

That is why my generation is leaving the church and writing those angry comments. They were not taught grace. They were not taught mercy. They were not taught unconditional love. They were not taught about a God who loves them and did everything in His power to woo them. They were not taught about a personal God that you can talk to and will talk back to you. They were not taught that Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

My generation does not need to be entertained in church. They want to see real life. You talk about God having power - then where is His power evident in your life? If you don't believe and live out day-to-day what you teach, then why do you think the young people will follow? If they do not see real life in church, then they will leave and try to find it elsewhere. Share about your testimony. Share how you were in traffic and got mad because you got cut off. They don't need to see perfect people. They need to see imperfect people with a perfect Savior. They need to see that there is forgiveness regardless of whether you killed someone, or do drugs, or got pregnant out of wedlock, or molested little girls. They want to see unity, but they only see division and backbiting within the church denominations.

I passed some of these young people at the gas station this week. They were in their teens, and I’m sure all the adults in their lives would say that they were “good kids” and they went to church on Sunday and Wednesday nights. But there was a lack of purpose and vision in their lives. You could see it in their eyes. Utter pointlessness. They are the ones that are going to go to college, become “enlightened” as to the “truth” about Christianity, and break some mother’s heart.

And they are in every one of our churches.

Yet there are young people rising up to the call of the Gospel.

I've seen them after they encountered God. I've seen them stay awake for a 24 hour prayer and worship time because they had a purpose - to serve God. I've seen them lying face down on the floor, sobbing, utterly undone by their Savior and completely oblivious to everything around them. I've seen them share their testimonies and the Gospel with more conviction and fire than those twice their age. Give a young person a task and a purpose, and I would love to see you try to keep up with them.

But they have to be taught. They require those that are older than they to show them what to do. They want to see how you're living out the Word, and as they see it, they will follow suit. But if they do not see it, they will leave.

And that's why most of the young people are leaving the church and becoming atheists. They heard about God their entire life, but when it came down to it, most of the professing members in the church were not actually following God. Church simply became a social activity/requirement.

And that is the real problem with the Josh Duggar incident.