Your Love Is Like A Waterfall....

Last month while I was at the YWAM Refresh Retreat in Kansas City, Mo, one of the speakers told us to ask God to show us what our hearts looked like towards Him. Well, I missed that part, because earlier the leader of the session had also told us to ask God for a picture, or word, or something, so I did that, and God showed me a waterfall.

Now, when I first did my DTS, a waterfall was what God showed me as to what He and His love is like.

So God showed me this waterfall (He and His love) and it was so peaceful and beautiful. It was in a tropical forest with light streaming through the trees, and bright flowers.

And so whenever God shows/tells you something, you ask Him what it means, so I did. And God asked me how I responded when I saw the picture. Well, when I first saw the picture I was like, “Oh, its so beautiful!” But instead of my normal reaction of “I see water; I want to jump into it!” My reaction was more like, “Eh, not right now.”

And God told me that the same way that I had responded to the waterfall, was the same way I had been responding to Him since I got home from YWAM.

I love water, which is probably why God used a waterfall as a visual-aid for His love for me. But even though I saw a beautiful, peaceful waterfall, I didn’t want to jump in. Immediately a million reasons as to why jumping in wouldn’t work right now appeared, and I forgot the simple, pure joy of jumping into the water (aka His presence).

All of the above happened within a few moments, and I broke down in tears because I knew it was true.

When I got home from DTS I wanted to continue the close relationship with the Lord that I had during the DTS. But as soon as I got home the lies came that I couldn’t experience God the same at home because it was a different location, different people, I didn’t have time, what if it didn’t work?, etc. And I believed the lies to a point.

I got busy with child evangelism, and God kept beckoning me to spend more time with Him, but I kept putting it off. “I don’t have time to spend more time with you, Lord, I have to go out and tell kids about you!”

And so that’s how a lot of my summer went. I was still spending time with Him, but not as much time as I should/could have been.

Because instead of seeing Him (the waterfall) as something to jump into again, I forgot how much I enjoyed His presence (the water). I lost my wonderment of it, because I had “seen it too many times.” We all know that after we see something beautiful many times, we can often forget it’s true beauty because we get used to it. Yet God is not something you can ever truly get used to; you can only be lied to that you’re too used to it. And that’s a lie I believed.

I reasoned that I didn’t have more time to spend with the Lord because I had other things that needed to be done. Yet, how was I thinking that I was going to be able to share the One and Only God with the kids and others, when I myself wasn’t spending a bunch of time with Him? I was spending enough time with Him to keep my Spirit [wo]man alive, but not much else. Instead of accepting His invitation to draw even closer to Him in His chamber, I was happy with staying outside and being content with a simple chat.  

But praise be to God that the relationship we as Christians have with Him have is not the same as human relationships! Because in normal relationships, it’s two people bringing who they are, and it is kinda a give and take (relationships in the world’s eyes - Christian should just give out of their overflow from Him), but our covenant with Him isn’t dependent on us. Even though we fail Him over, and over, and over again, the covenant we have with Him isn’t dependent on us; it is dependent on His unchanging love, mercy and grace. So even when I fall, and fail, and fall again, He is still there, far after any human would have given up. He’s still there, waiting, ready.

His unconditional love is extraordinary. Even on days when I would blatantly chose to not spend time with Him, He still loved me, and was patient. Amazing. No one else would go through what we put God through, yet His love is unfaltering.

And so I can come before God, once again, and be received into His arms with a big hug. Even if the day before I spat in His face. Unconditional forgiveness; He bears no anger towards me. How is that possible?! I messed up; can’t you get mad at me or something?! He just smiles. We often wish that He would act like a human and get upset with us, anything but knowing that we chose to disobey God - to hurt Him - yet He still forgave us. I don’t deserve it! I can never do anything to deserve it! How can you still love me? He welcomes me and laughs, holding me close, “I love you because I created you. I created you with your kinks, quirks and spontaneity, and you show a part of Me that no one else can. And I died on the cross so that I could be in you and with you forever. I will never leave you. Even on those days when you don’t talk to Me, I’m waiting for you. There is nothing you can do that would make me love you less.”

And I am undone. How am I so privileged to know God? To be called His friend and Beloved? His goodness is too much for me!

Yet everyday is another choice: do I choose to spend time with Him? Or do I feed my flesh and embark on my own? It always amazes me how after you can spend the most amazing day with the Lord, yet the next day you wake up and you’d expect yourself to be gung-ho to spend more time with Him, yet you can feel absolutely no desire to spend time with Him. Our sin-nature is so ready to hinder us from being with Him, but even if we don’t “feel” it, love isn’t based on feeling. Even if I feel that I’m not going to get anything from reading the Bible, or I’m not going to hear His voice, etc., it is so important to keep drawing near to Him. And be honest with Him and how you’re [not] feeling like being there with Him. Because He draws near to those who draw near to Him, regardless of how small that effort to draw near is.

What do you choose?

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 6:10-13