Singleness: Part 2
As I was thinking about singleness (you can read about it here), I had another thought. Why is singleness looked at like the black plague? I mean really, have you ever thought about it? Most people don’t grow up wanting to be single with the same enthusiasm that people that want to be married have. What made me want to be married in the first place? Why do people have such an intense desire/want/longing to be married? It’s quite simple; we want to be loved. Except we look for it in all the wrong places... and we don’t trust God.
Now, think about this. God loves us. I mean really loves us.
If a human being were to tell us they loved us with those same words, we’d melt. Admit it, you would. Yet, when God, the Creator of everything, the Star Breather (Psalm 33:6, 9), who knew you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5 & Psalm 139:13) says it, we ignore it. We think, “*yawn* How nice. Now, what did I have on my list of errands to do today.....” Is it just me, or is there something wrong with that picture?! God loves us with an everlasting love! We should be screaming it from the rooftops! He is our beloved! Why are we so discontent to rest in His love, and instead we dream about the day that we will be loved by a human?
The answer? We have been lied to.
Everywhere, people are telling us that we have to be married. And if you’re not married by 25, people look at you like there is something seriously wrong with you.
Our society has become extremely discontent with singleness. Everywhere we turn (movies, books, music, etc.), it is all promoting the same thing: being in a relationship with someone. It doesn’t matter who it is, all that matters is that it’s someone. And it comes back to pride and selfishness. I need someone to fulfill me. I need to be loved. I want protection. etc... We are relying on the creation instead of the creator to fulfill us.
Jennifer Lamp Neef (His Chosen Bride) also shares, “The more we depend on the Lord as our husband, content in Him, in love with Him, the more we will be able to bless the husband God would bring. Additionally, we will find ourselves much more contented in marriage (for we have learned the “secret of being contend” ~ trusting the Lord in all things!... if we come into marriage content in the Lord Jesus, fulfilled already in Him, drawing emotional energy from the Lord and with a foundation of loving Him, then we truly have a gift to joyfully offer to our spouse. We are not coming into marriage to receive, but rather to give.”
One thing I have been realizing as I’ve read/am reading biographies of famous missionaries and heroes of the faith, is that if they do get married (which some of them do not), they usually meet their future spouse while they’re doing ministry. And they’re not even looking to get married! They are following God’s leading and then *poof!* God puts the perfect helpmate in their path. They didn’t have to worry about finding the “right one”, because God knew who the right one was going to be, and when they needed to meet each other! Now, I’m not saying that the reason to be part of a ministry is to find the “one”, that is the wrong heart-attitude. What I am saying, is that we don’t need to worry about it. If if is God’s plan that we get married, He is going to bring the right one, and focusing all of our thoughts on the subject before that “one” comes, is a very big time waster. We could be using our time so much more effectively for ministry while trusting God that His plan is the best! Considering that He created earth and the universe in 6 days, I don’t think He is going to have any difficulty bringing two people together. ;-)
A somewhat amusing way that I have decided to view this part of my life, is that I am not (with God’s help) going to view any guy as anything other than a brother until God drops the “one” for me (if He is going to) directly in front of me with a flashing neon light that reads, "This is the one for you!”
And as much as I’d like to finish this with saying that since deciding on the above, I have had no problem with with my heart going “pitter-patter”, or that my thoughts have remained perfectly pure, it simply isn’t the case. We live in a fallen world, and our thoughts will constantly be trying to get our attention away from where they should be. I have an especially difficult time with it because I did not train my mind growing up to “take every thought captive”. It doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, it just means that we constantly have to be ever vigilant. It Is not the end of the war, the battle has just begun! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”
Now, think about this. God loves us. I mean really loves us.
Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
If a human being were to tell us they loved us with those same words, we’d melt. Admit it, you would. Yet, when God, the Creator of everything, the Star Breather (Psalm 33:6, 9), who knew you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5 & Psalm 139:13) says it, we ignore it. We think, “*yawn* How nice. Now, what did I have on my list of errands to do today.....” Is it just me, or is there something wrong with that picture?! God loves us with an everlasting love! We should be screaming it from the rooftops! He is our beloved! Why are we so discontent to rest in His love, and instead we dream about the day that we will be loved by a human?
The answer? We have been lied to.
Everywhere, people are telling us that we have to be married. And if you’re not married by 25, people look at you like there is something seriously wrong with you.
Our society has become extremely discontent with singleness. Everywhere we turn (movies, books, music, etc.), it is all promoting the same thing: being in a relationship with someone. It doesn’t matter who it is, all that matters is that it’s someone. And it comes back to pride and selfishness. I need someone to fulfill me. I need to be loved. I want protection. etc... We are relying on the creation instead of the creator to fulfill us.
Jennifer Lamp Neef (His Chosen Bride) also shares, “The more we depend on the Lord as our husband, content in Him, in love with Him, the more we will be able to bless the husband God would bring. Additionally, we will find ourselves much more contented in marriage (for we have learned the “secret of being contend” ~ trusting the Lord in all things!... if we come into marriage content in the Lord Jesus, fulfilled already in Him, drawing emotional energy from the Lord and with a foundation of loving Him, then we truly have a gift to joyfully offer to our spouse. We are not coming into marriage to receive, but rather to give.”
One thing I have been realizing as I’ve read/am reading biographies of famous missionaries and heroes of the faith, is that if they do get married (which some of them do not), they usually meet their future spouse while they’re doing ministry. And they’re not even looking to get married! They are following God’s leading and then *poof!* God puts the perfect helpmate in their path. They didn’t have to worry about finding the “right one”, because God knew who the right one was going to be, and when they needed to meet each other! Now, I’m not saying that the reason to be part of a ministry is to find the “one”, that is the wrong heart-attitude. What I am saying, is that we don’t need to worry about it. If if is God’s plan that we get married, He is going to bring the right one, and focusing all of our thoughts on the subject before that “one” comes, is a very big time waster. We could be using our time so much more effectively for ministry while trusting God that His plan is the best! Considering that He created earth and the universe in 6 days, I don’t think He is going to have any difficulty bringing two people together. ;-)
A somewhat amusing way that I have decided to view this part of my life, is that I am not (with God’s help) going to view any guy as anything other than a brother until God drops the “one” for me (if He is going to) directly in front of me with a flashing neon light that reads, "This is the one for you!”
And as much as I’d like to finish this with saying that since deciding on the above, I have had no problem with with my heart going “pitter-patter”, or that my thoughts have remained perfectly pure, it simply isn’t the case. We live in a fallen world, and our thoughts will constantly be trying to get our attention away from where they should be. I have an especially difficult time with it because I did not train my mind growing up to “take every thought captive”. It doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, it just means that we constantly have to be ever vigilant. It Is not the end of the war, the battle has just begun! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”
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