Love, love, love....

Love.

Probably the most misused word in our English vocabulary.

I have spent many hours pondering “love”; what exactly is it? And how is it shown?

Growing up, I watched the Disney Princess movies. I know, I know, if anyone has an incorrect view of love, it was them.

Boy meets girl (via her singing or dancing, or being locked in a dungeon, etc), becomes smitten (fights off dragons, angry mobs, and jealous stepmothers), and ultimately gets the girl.

In my 8 year old mind, I thought it was so romantic that Sleeping Beauty was awakened with a kiss (of true love!), and that Cinderella’s Prince fell in love with her during a dance. I thought it was so sweet!

As I have grown older, I have been thinking about those relationships, and how carnal they were.

Extremely handsome Prince meets beautiful Princess. Immediately becomes smitten and would do anything to save her. The Disney Princes were any little girls dream guy. They were kind, considerate, dashing, brave, and they would do anything to keep the girl safe. But I’m getting off topic.

The problem with the relationship between the hero and heroine, is that they did not know what love was; they got it confused with infatuation.

I remember in one of the Cinderella sequels, one of Cinderella’s step-sisters “falls in love” with a baker because he smiled at her. And the movie was quite forward about saying it was love. It took me a while to figure out what was wrong with that scene, but even as a 9 year old, I knew there was something not quite right. Cinderella’s step-sister did not love the baker, she was infatuated with him. 

Love and infatuation share some common characteristics; in both cases, you are attracted to someone, but there is one big difference. With infatuation, you’re thinking about how you’re feeling and how they make you feel. The more happy fuzzies, the better. Infatuation means to inspire or possess with a foolish or unreasoning passion.

But love is not like that. It is not that it is absent of the happy fuzzies, it is just not dependent of them.

As cliche as it may be, love is a verb.

Love is a continual choice to put the needs and well-being of another person ahead of yourself regardless of how you’re feeling. Love is confronting someone about an attitude that they have that is not pleasing to God, even if they don’t want to hear it, because you are looking out for their ultimate well-being. Love is helping conform someone closer to Christ’s image.

Love is hard.

The more I have realized what love is, the more I realized how hard it would be to always be loving. It is the continual dying of yourself for someone else. Your wants, desires, hopes, plans. It is laying them down at someone else’s feet and saying, “I am here to serve you.”.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

And that is exactly what Jesus did.

We were adulterers, fornicators, unclean, lewd, idolaters, sorcerers, haters, contentious, jealous, with outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heretics, envious, murders, drunks, revelers, and the like. (Galatians 5:19-21 - paraphrased) We were the slime of the earth. But God loved us, and laid down His life for us. The ultimate showing of love. (John 15:13)

Both of my brothers are married, and the thing that surprised me about how they both acted after getting married was how much more loving they were. Like, really loving. They were nice before they got married, but they’re over the top now. My eldest brother actually just gave me a kiss on the cheek a couple days ago; I can’t remember the last time he did that.

Isn’t that the way we should be after being with Christ? We are wed to Him; after being in His embrace and we go out into the world, shouldn’t people be able to tell there is something different about us? My brothers transformations were evident; really evident. Their smiles were infectious, and their eyes glowed with happiness. They’ve always been quick to help [love] but it is even more evident now. Isn’t that the type of love we should all have from Christ?

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13