Who Am I?

“Who am I?”

The question that has plagued scholars and common folk alike. How/why do I respond to certain situations the way I do? What are my dreams/passions? How do I respond when I get angry? What makes my heart stop beating in awe of? What type of people do I like to be around? How do I deal with criticism?

Have you actually tried to get a pen and paper out and answer those questions? I haven’t. No reason to, because everyone else is telling me what I’m like, or what they think I’m like.

According to the Myers Briggs personality test I’m an ENFP (I’m extroverted, and I rely on intuition, feeling, and perception). I’m an “enthusiastic, creative and sociable free spirit who can always find a reason to smile”.

According to iPersonic, I’m a Spontaneous Idealist who is “creative, lively, open-minded, humorous and disposes of a contagious zest for life.”

According to liberals I’m some-type of right-wing fanatic. “She wants to own guns and is against abortion?!”

According to Hollywood I’m an object. “Wear this tight/low cut shirt and you’ll look pretty!”

According to most of my generation I’m some really weird anomaly.

Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. Musician. Horse-trainer. Player of sports. The girl who works with kids and smiles.

Yet all that stuff? It does not matter. That is not who I am.

Lately I have been trying to figure out who I am. I’m not my family, I’m not my friends, and I’m not my church, so who am I?  How do I fit in God’s sphere of things? “I need to know this info so I can know how  to better serve God! I need to have this figured out!”

But you know what? That is the wrong way to be looking at it, because it’s not about me. I don’t have to have everything figured out or know exactly how I would respond if a purple elephant fell out of the sky. God says that “[His] strength is made perfect in my weakness”. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God does not want us to get stuck on a formula, “I have to be like this so God can use me.” If God wanted to, he could use a [talking] donkey (again). God wants us to rely on Him for all things. Not some, not most, all.

Which you know what that means? Not having everything under control and being vulnerable.

We don’t like that. We like to be in control of our situations. We like things the way we like them, and don’t you upset the apple cart! But God wants us to be flexible and to rest in Him.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts    than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9

So the true answer to Who Am I?

I am a hard-hearted, idol worshiping liar with blatant pride and disobedience issues. I am a sinner, worthy of eternal punishment because of my sin and continual rebellion against a Holy and perfect God. I sin against Him daily because of my disobedience, and I deserve to be zapped off of the face of the earth. But God. God left His holy habitation in heaven because He desired me to be with Him. Holy Creator desiring for His creation to be with Him, and giving up everything to make it possible. He died a horrendous death on the cross, because He loved me. I can’t fathom that. Seeing all of my sin and ugliness and still desiring me. Because that is the God we serve. Completely perfect and full of compassion and mercy.

Because of Him I am loved. I am chosen. I am forgiven. I am spotless, washed by the blood of the Lamb. And I was created to serve and worship God, who is worthy of all glory and honor.

God does not base who I am by what my personality type is, or what things I have accomplished.      

When God looks at me, He sees me in perfection, the way that He created me to be. He sees Christ’s righteousness and holiness and He calls me Beloved.

For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

Ezekiel 36:24-27

Everything we are and have is because of God. Yet we have such an improper view of our authority and knowledge and us. We look at our uniqueness and think, Wow! I’m such a cool person!, when in truth all we have is because of Christ. God gave us our uniqueness! That piano piece you just played that sounded amazing!? God gave you that ability. That super spike/serve you just did in volleyball? God gave you that, too. The ability to take a screaming child and quiet and sooth it? God. The ability to teach? God again.

Everything we are and have is because of God, and for His glory. Our uniqueness is a testament to our great God’s diversity and should be used for Him!

I have been very convicted of this lately, as I start to think, “Wow! Look at what I’ve done!”, when all I have is from God. It has been a good reminder for me to try to change my thoughts and get my focus off of me, because its not about me.

It is about Him.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God,

be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen!

1 Timothy 1:17