Fear of the Brethren

Several months ago, my Mom and David were talking to an acquaintance of mine about something that was going on in her life. And David suggested that she talk to me about it because I had gone through the same thing. She shockingly replied, “Talk to Sara?! She’s like a perfect angel; she never does anything wrong!”

I wasn’t quite sure what to think of that. I was flattered, of course, but it was quickly turned to shock. I hardly know her, do I really seem to be perfect to people I hardly know? [I had known of her for several years through an acquaintance/friendship with her sister, but I had never said more than a “Hi, how are you?” to her]. It was very concerning since I don’t want someone not to talk to me because I appear to be “perfect”. (Especially since I’m not perfect!)

And it made me realize something, we (as Christians) are scared of each other. We won’t talk to each other about our problems because we are afraid of what the other person would think of us if they knew “such-and-such”.

Aren’t we supposed to be confessing our faults to one another so that the other person can pray for us?

We, as humans, are not made to battle by ourselves. It’s just not the way God has created us.  (For where two or three are gathered together in My name...” Matthew 18:20) God gives us problems to draw us closer to Him, and He provides help through other believers. If I had had to deal with some of my problems alone, I can’t imagine what would have happened. It is so important to have other believers around us that can keep encouraging us toward the goal.  

But, satan doesn’t want us to be unified. Have you ever found that when a friend tells you something personal, it pushes you away from them? No, it makes your bond even closer. Satan has sold us the lie that “They won’t like us if they know about that sin problem; keep it to yourself; you’re strong enough to battle it without them.” Yet, we’re not.

Other believers are there to pray for whatever it is. Remember the “two heads are better than one” thing?

During the last several months, when I’d be talking to a friend, and they’d ask, “So, how are you? What’s been going on in your life?”, an argument would immediately start in my head. “You don’t want to tell them that, they wouldn’t understand; they’ve never gone through it; if you tell them, you’ll just get that blank stare of "I didn’t know you had those problems" or "I have no idea what you’re talking about”, vs “They asked you how you were doing, which probably means they really want to know; maybe they have gone through it, but they’ve been too shy to tell anyone; you’re not being very friendly expecting them to tell you what they’ve gone through, but then not telling them what you have gone through; it couldn’t hurt.”

The first response is acting off of fear; the “what if’s”, the second one is acting off of trust and love. Personally, if you are friends with someone, and you don’t trust them, I would start to question that relationship.

And it’s not always easy to tell people, “This is/was going on in my life...” Sometimes it can be quite embarrassing and awkward. Recently, I was at a friends house and we were having a “girl talk” and I started trying to gingerly explain something about my father, but it really wasn’t making sense because my friend didn’t know my life’s story. And for a couple of seconds, I was debating whether or not I should tell her. It’s so much easier to keep our past “hidden” and have everyone think that out life has always been rosy and perfect. I did tell her and it just felt like a huge burden was off of my shoulders. Someone else knows!

Being honest with each other increases your bond of trust and friendship so much. We should not be scared of talking to each other. We would be so much more effective in battling the enemy if we were open with our problems so that other people could pray for us! Prayer seems to have become Christians “forgotten” weapon.